I first came to see Alyss 18 months ago. To say I was at “my wits end” is an understatement. I thought I was going mad. Having resisted any form of counselling for years, I knew that I had reached a point where I could no longer self-manage myself, and I needed help. I knew that the only way to get better was to understand why I was feeling so unhappy and why I worried so much about anything. That was really important to me.
I could name the feelings, paranoia, worthlessness, never good enough, and above, all no self-acceptance and always feeling I had to prove myself. What I could not do was to stop the continuous cycle of being up and down emotionally. It was draining, and I felt very unhappy.
I chose Alyss after viewing a professional website listing qualified psychoanalysts in my area. I thought this type of therapy was best suited to my needs. I rang to make an appointment and had my first session a week later.
I did not know what to expect, I was just glad to be there. I attended weekly sessions for many months. During my sessions I have laughed, cried, and been bemused. Sometimes after a session I have felt drained and other times completely uplifted. Writing things down, “journaling” was an effective way of getting things from within – out.
I felt totally at ease with Alyss and have been able to be completely honest, even when to be honest felt like exposing my bare soul. I have shared stories from the present and the past in order to get a sense of who I am and to allow me to connect with and recognise feelings, reactions and behaviours. This has allowed me to consciously make changes to how I deal with what life throws at me, and moreover to rejoice in the good stuff. I came to understand that a lot of the struggles I was having were actually my reaction to other people’s behaviours, but I could not recognise that at all. I took it all on myself and held onto it, analysed it to death and tormented myself.
Thankfully I am now in happier place. A place free, almost, from feeling such a lack of self-worth and undeserving. I have been able to create boundaries for myself, I am able to let things go. I have been able to break free from worry about what people think of me and to contain my thoughts and feelings and that gives me confidence and power. I Have reconciled with past experiences that have formed part of the road to where I was, but in doing so have created a path to my future. Although life will always throw curve balls, I do think that I will now be able to manage them in a healthier way.